It’s a new day and a new year… I am not going to be cliché and say “New Year-New Me” because I am a firm believer that one must always re-invent their self. I don’t mean in a Madonna circa every decade sort of sense, but being a person who is constantly learning and growing; a person who is willing to take what life throws at them.
I am not going to lie; I began to burn myself out these last couple of months. Instead of just going with the flow and following my destiny, I was trying to outrun it and make things happen fast and on my time. Who wouldn’t want their brain child to be a go to sanctuary for millions? By wanting all of my thoughts to come together to make a masterpiece, on top of working a nine to five office job, I literally ran my mind and body to the ground.
I said from the beginning that I would keep everything one hundred for those of you who are interested in following my journey in creating a brand. Turning my passion into a lifestyle is no easy task, especially as a one woman show. As someone who is in charge of all aspects of running the site, I am constantly on my toes… I swear I am connected to every social network known to man. With all of this, I made a resolution to myself – JUST GO WITH THE FLOW.
As a results oriented person I am constantly racking my brain. If I don’t see exponential results immediately I begin to think that I am failing or something is just not right. These past couple of months I have been emailing web development companies left and right to find someone who can create a new platform for my website. I guess some of these companies thought I was a trust fund baby and quoted me thousands beyond thousands of dollars to plan and execute the project. I took another approach by reaching out to freelancers, giving them the pitch of what I am currently doing and where I want to take JasMoseley. I’m not sure if the people I emailed thought I was insane, delusional, just over confident or all of the above, but I didn’t get a single reply. There is only so much discouragement one can take before they just give up, but instead of giving up I decided to take a much needed mental break.
Ever since I was a kid in school, I always strive to succeed. I would worry about things that most people my age could care less about, one being succeeding in my pursuits. Most would say it is very neurotic to worry about things that are not necessarily measurable. Success, in reality, can only be determined by the individual seeking it. For a long time I thought success was about reaching the “end-all-be-all” goal, but I feel differently as I get older. Success is all around me- hell writing another post after my hiatus is a sign of success. One thing that I am going to take into 2015 is living in the moment and keeping in mind that I don’t have to race to reach my goals. Remaining patient and growing as an individual are key to growing all other aspects of my life. Everything will fall into place at its own time.
I finally put together a video about the website! Even though the website went live in June 2014, there was so much developing I had to do on the back end before I was comfortable making a proper intro via Youtube. It has been a busy few months; sorry about the lack of videos between August and now. Don't worry, I am not going anywhere!
I knew deep in my heart that jasmoseley.com had to happen. I don't know what my life would be like if I didn't have an outlet in my life. When it comes to being passionate, it can be the most euphoric experience when you discover that "thing" that brings you to life. I never wanted to be that person just trying to get through each day. I wanted to live.
I remember around March 2008 during my second semester as a freshman at Temple, I was speaking to an adviser to schedule classes for my sophomore year. As a business student at the Richard J. Fox School of Business, open advising hours were like Black Friday; the earlier you got there, the better. As I sat in the neatly organized- semi O.C.D office of the adviser, she tilted her head and asked "Do you think Fox is where you belong? Because I don't think you can be successful here. Have you thought about switching majors?" Granted I didn't do so hot in 2 classes, but the condescending tone put me on edge. In those days, I was very shy and timid, but this was one of the moments of my life that slowly broke me out of it. I replied "Of course I belong here. It's true, I had a difficult first semester, but I am not trying to leave. I am not going to give up because of a difficult time. I am where I belong." The adviser went through this long rant about the business school and so on... things that I started to tune out. Then she asked "What are you trying to do after graduation?" I sat in the chair upright, then slightly tilted my head and said "Of course finding a job with an excellent company would be an ideal thing to do, it's probably something I will have to do at first. Realistically, I want to have something of my own." I could tell she was not really interested in what I had to say. She then replied "Everyone says that they want to be an entrepreneur..." At this point I was done talking and was heading out. I thanked her for her time, even though I really didn't want to. In my head I said "One day I will do something great... I just know it." This was before JasMoseley ever became a thought, before I ever thought about Youtube or even blogging. I was completely lost and did not know what I was good at... or I didn't realize what I was good at, more so where my passion was.
Passion is a mysterious thing. It's like the man of your dreams running across the shore on a deserted island.The world of beauty and fashion is a major outlet for me and always staring me in the face. Whenever I had a crappy day I would play in makeup and start blending color combinations from art I was inspired by, one day it was inspiration from Van Gough, the next day I would blend greens and gold hues inspired by a Frida Kahlo painting. Another way to relieve my stress from a long day was to go through my French and Spanish Vogue ogling clothes I can't even afford. I loved the textures, the shapes of the pieces and how they jumped from the glossy pages. Chanel, Moschino, Givenchy, Diane Von Furstenburg... I would just imagine and dream. I soon realized that the world of beauty and all things girly was a major fit for me, it made me feel like I was in my own world... I was happy.
A wise woman, named Fabienne Fredrickson said " The things you are passionate about are not random. They are your calling." This really hit home for me. I knew I couldn't just sit around and let all of these ideas float in my head, I had to be creative. First it was Youtube, which I still do and will continue to do, but I wanted to present myself more than just a face. I wanted to make an impact on the lives of women around the world and connect with them, bring them a little joy in their lives. That is why I have more than just beauty and fashion content on jasmoseley.com. I wanted women to feel like a boss, so I added post about career advice, life lessons and affairs of the heart to let women know that they are not alone in their journey through life. When it comes to passion you can not fight it. It lives with you. It breathes with you. I go to bed with JasMoseley on my mind, because I am constantly trying to think of what to do next. When I first started everything I knew I was not the Michelle Phan of the Youtubing world, or Stephen King when it came to writing my post. JasMoseley is something that I truly need to work at every waking day. It's about progression, not perfection. Cracking open my laptop and creating a new post or filming a video is like Christmas, except the presents are from myself. I hope that everyone at some point in their life finds a passion. I never thought that I would find it and thought passion was only for lucky people.Finding my passion proved to me that it is possible to create your own luck.
"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother" -Khalil Gibran
I hate that feeling.
I remember coming home after a long day at my corporate job and rushing on to my computer to get inspiration for website updates and my Youtube channel. As much as I wanted to just shut down, my mind would not allow me as I scrolled through the Barney's website. As I am sitting there looking at the glossy stilettos on my computer screen and simultaneously swatching eyeshadow colors, I came to the realization that I wanted my refuge to be my life... but how. I created a website on my own, have a Youtube channel and blast on every social network known to man, but I always felt as if I was doing something wrong.
It is so easy to feel like you are not doing something right, especially when you compare yourself to other people as a gauge of success... I was doing this quite often. Last week my news notification stated that Chiara Ferragni is on track to earn 8 million a year from her blog The Blonde Salad , which I am a huge fan of. The death angel called doubt along with its evil minion insecurity was lurking at my shoulder. I remember just going to a mirror staring at myself and thinking "Will that ever be me? Am I wasting my time?" A flood of insecurities submerged my brain:
Am I attractive enough?
Am I appealing to international followers?
Should I change my website content?
Should I delete my Youtube?
What is wrong with me?
I felt like my fifteen year old self in a twenty-five year old's body. I kept putting so much pressure on myself, which has been an issue since I was a child. Not because of my parents, but because when I start something I want it to work. I want JasMoseley to be the best it can be.
One night after talking to my parents about my frustrations, the main cause of my stress was me. I forgot about the main reason why I built JasMoseley in the first place, and that was to create a refuge. I caused so much unnecessary stress on myself looking at the accomplishments of others and comparing them to my start up website and channel. There will only be one Chiara Ferragni, just like there will only be one Jasmine Moseley. Everyone has their own journey in life, you can not try to replicate another person's path and think it will lead you to victory. There is no GPS for success. Besides, the fun part is the journey and the goal is to continue the journey for as long as possible. Once you say there is an end point, then it's over.
I celebrated a quarter century of life in Atlantic City, NJ July 18, 2014. I had an absolute blast! I decided to make a storytelling blog about my weekend with the girls and our crazy encounters.
Making your dreams a reality is one of the most euphoric accomplishments a person can achieve, and I want that feeling. It does not happen overnight, there are a lot of sleepless nights and heartaches to create something that has been developing in your mind for a long time.
I knew that I wanted to create something where women could feel empowered. Currently, women are so competitive with each other that we tend to tear each other down... and for what reason? I wanted to create a space that women could feel empowered and feel like the beautiful goddesses that we are no matter your religion, creed, national origin, color, and ethnicity. Yes, I did not say race, because we are all one race and that is HUMAN.
In 2013, when I began posting videos on Youtube, I knew that I wanted to do something bigger. I wanted to build an all inclusive site that discussed beauty, style, life, love, career tips,and so forth. A place where women can call their internet sanctuary. It is wonderful to look fiercely beautiful, but it is also important to be on top of your game when it comes to your life and aspirations, that is why I made the site in this fashion. I wanted a site that would be very interactive as well. I remember times I wondered where someone got a certain brand of shoes or a dress they wore to an event. You can click on the items I mention on post, get directed to the item on the company website and purchase. Very simple and easy, and maybe a tad dangerous for a shop-a-holic.
The site took months to develop, and at times it was difficult. I currently have a full time corporate job, I will come home and diligently work on the site until early in the morning. I would run on 4 hours of sleep and chugging cups coffee with loads of sugar, but it is all worth it because I am creating something that I love. You are only on this earth for a short amount of time, all of the thoughts and dreams that would float in my head, I want to make them come true. I want to show myself and other women that you can do whatever you want in this world without compromising yourself. You can get where you need to be and not have to cheat, lie, steal, or sleep around to reach your goals. You have to push. I would love to one day travel the world and soak up knowledge of beauty and style, have my plans for my makeup line that I wrote years ago to be a tangible reality, design clothes, be a face for Cover Girl, and be on a magazine. Most importantly I hope that I can make someone's day or change a life.
As of right now, I am starting from the bottom, and can't wait to see where tomorrow will take me.