I remember my first time innocently experimenting in the world of role playing. I met up with my boyfriend at a bar, which was very normal for a Thursday night, and got my signature Bay Breeze. We were at the bar talking about how exciting and fresh it was when we left the “friend zone” and started dating. My boyfriend had the clever idea to pretend we were strangers at the bar, and I thought it was a good idea. After giving it a couple of minutes to process, he greeted me as if we were meeting for the first time and offered to buy me a drink. Even though I was playing along, in my head I was thinking “I feel like such a weirdo.” The strange feeling was… I actually liked it. The same butterfly feeling that I got when we first met came back- the charm... the freshness… it was all there.
Of course there is the more “advanced” 50 Shades of Grey version of role playing that you see on TV or read in those raunchy romance novels. It always made me deeply think of those times when you just wanted to be someone else for one day, or in this case one night. I was at a barbeque last summer and was dead on witnessing a couple in their mid-fifties role playing. Talk about PDA to the fullest, I heard the wife yell “I’m a happily married woman! Don’t try to sweet talk your way into my goodie jar!" As the couple’s public sex-capade started to intensify, I quickly removed myself and my beer from their scene. Even though I moved away as fast as Usain Bolt can run, I thought it was very cool that the couple was so into each other and secure that they could care less about the pained “WTF” expression on my face.
Whether you are a pro, novice, or just curious- here a few things to know when crossing over to the world of role playing.
1. It’s Only Between You and Your Significant Other… & Possibly the General Public
There is no need of feeling bashful about the situation. Remember, this is the person that you care about and you can be 100% comfortable with. Sure, you may be in a bar or club with hundreds of other people, but so what (unless you see a co-worker, then take 5 from your public fantasy session). If you two are alone at home, remember home should always be a judge free zone.
2. Take It Slow
This is not one of those type of ordeals where you can just hit the ground running and throw on your Cat Woman outfit from last Halloween. It really does take time, especially if you have never done it before. The easiest way is to start off being yourself at a different stage in your life in a private intimate setting ( your house for example). As you become more comfortable, branch off to more theatrical role playing.
3. Don’t Try To Change Roles In The Middle Of The Action
If you ever seen Season 3 of the HBO series Girls when Hannah pretended to be the wife of a hedge fund manager, then in the middle of her and Adam’s “whoopee” session changed roles and said she was the cheerleader and Adam was the school weirdo? If you have, you know exactly what I am talking about. Stick to one role play fantasy at a time. Switching things up in the middle becomes too confusing, awkward, and kills the mood.
4. The Most Important Rule: Have Fun!
Don’t take things too seriously! The experience is supposed to be a fun time with you and your significant other. Keep calm and role play on!