We all have went down that path once or twice, maybe more like 3 or 4 times with the same guy knowing that the end result will be a disappointment. If you are contemplating if your current boo is the yin to your yang, here are 7 signs that he is not “The One” for you;
1. You Are Both On Two Different Pages
He is afraid of commitment and you want to be married in the next year, or he rather live in two separate apartments and you are ready to take the next step in living together. Everything goes downhill when you both are not mentally going down the same path. It can be said that it may take some time for one person to compromise, but if neither party is giving the relationship the “old college try” then you will forever be in relationship purgatory.
2. He Puts You Down
A long time ago, I was seeing a guy that would criticize my form fitting clothes, makeup, had the nerve to say I was a bimbo and “behind the learning” curve. All of this negativity was stemming from his own insecurities that he would lash out at me. If the guy you are with is putting you down in any way, LEAVE HIM ALONE. Being called out of your name is in no way endearing and emotionally abusive.
3. He Never Introduced You To His Family & Clearly Does Not Want To Meet Yours
Your guy always makes a lame excuse about how he is not ready for you to meet his family because he wants more time… even though you have been seeing each other exclusively for two years. Also, he says that no one needs to know him. This is a clear message from your guy that he only sees you as a fling and nothing more. If you have heard these statements, sorry to say, the relationship is going nowhere.
4. You Want To Change Him
Let’s steer away from the man bashing, simply because it takes TWO to be a couple. Some women have a bad habit with falling in love with the idea of how someone can be and not who the person actually is; TRUST me- I have been down that road. A person’s character traits are their character traits. If you can live with it, cool! If it is something you cannot live with, then it is time to peace out.
5. He Doesn’t Defend You
No one wants to go through the ringer when it comes to insults and ridicule. Whether it is a verbal altercation or physical; if he is the first one to head for the hills and not defend your honor, it is evident that he is not that into you.
6. Lack of Communication
There is no way you can have a successful relationship without being open and talking to each other. You thought staring at each other would last?
7. You Just Have A “Feeling”
I am a firm believer of listening to your instincts. If the relationship that you are in does not feel right and causes you to have that weird knot in your stomach, then you are most likely right. Sometimes the hardest part is letting go, but you will feel so much better that you are giving yourself the opportunity to find the right guy for you.
I remember my first time innocently experimenting in the world of role playing. I met up with my boyfriend at a bar, which was very normal for a Thursday night, and got my signature Bay Breeze. We were at the bar talking about how exciting and fresh it was when we left the “friend zone” and started dating. My boyfriend had the clever idea to pretend we were strangers at the bar, and I thought it was a good idea. After giving it a couple of minutes to process, he greeted me as if we were meeting for the first time and offered to buy me a drink. Even though I was playing along, in my head I was thinking “I feel like such a weirdo.” The strange feeling was… I actually liked it. The same butterfly feeling that I got when we first met came back- the charm... the freshness… it was all there.
Of course there is the more “advanced” 50 Shades of Grey version of role playing that you see on TV or read in those raunchy romance novels. It always made me deeply think of those times when you just wanted to be someone else for one day, or in this case one night. I was at a barbeque last summer and was dead on witnessing a couple in their mid-fifties role playing. Talk about PDA to the fullest, I heard the wife yell “I’m a happily married woman! Don’t try to sweet talk your way into my goodie jar!" As the couple’s public sex-capade started to intensify, I quickly removed myself and my beer from their scene. Even though I moved away as fast as Usain Bolt can run, I thought it was very cool that the couple was so into each other and secure that they could care less about the pained “WTF” expression on my face.
Whether you are a pro, novice, or just curious- here a few things to know when crossing over to the world of role playing.
1. It’s Only Between You and Your Significant Other… & Possibly the General Public
There is no need of feeling bashful about the situation. Remember, this is the person that you care about and you can be 100% comfortable with. Sure, you may be in a bar or club with hundreds of other people, but so what (unless you see a co-worker, then take 5 from your public fantasy session). If you two are alone at home, remember home should always be a judge free zone.
2. Take It Slow
This is not one of those type of ordeals where you can just hit the ground running and throw on your Cat Woman outfit from last Halloween. It really does take time, especially if you have never done it before. The easiest way is to start off being yourself at a different stage in your life in a private intimate setting ( your house for example). As you become more comfortable, branch off to more theatrical role playing.
3. Don’t Try To Change Roles In The Middle Of The Action
If you ever seen Season 3 of the HBO series Girls when Hannah pretended to be the wife of a hedge fund manager, then in the middle of her and Adam’s “whoopee” session changed roles and said she was the cheerleader and Adam was the school weirdo? If you have, you know exactly what I am talking about. Stick to one role play fantasy at a time. Switching things up in the middle becomes too confusing, awkward, and kills the mood.
4. The Most Important Rule: Have Fun!
Don’t take things too seriously! The experience is supposed to be a fun time with you and your significant other. Keep calm and role play on!