You’ve got the ring, the man of your dreams and pages of bridal magazines scattered all over your kitchen as you plan and Pinterest your idea of the perfect wedding. Marrying your soul mate is the most important event of your life. Marriage is a beautiful union of not only two souls, but two families… which includes a new mama bear in your life. Your mother-in-law-to-be is the first woman in your fiancé’s life. She set the tone in regards to the woman your fiancé envisioned his future wife to be… and she has a watchful eye on the woman that her son is going to marry. Developing a relationship with your future mother-in-law is majorly important as she not only is the mother of the amazing specimen of man you are about to marry, but a new family member and the future grandmother of your rugrats.
Stay True to Yourself
Do not try to be what you think your fiancé’s mom wants you to be. It’s really a waste trying to alter your image and making yourself look like a saint, when 9 times out of 10 your mother-in-law-to-be has scanned your entire Facebook feed with your scantily clad Halloween pics from college. Not only that, you rob her of knowing the amazing person you are. Be your normal authentic self.
Get to Know Her
Like any relationship, you have to communicate and get to know the person. Don’t simply assume she is channeling Jane Fonda in Monster-In-Law; she may be just as shy and nervous as you are. Find out her hobbies, favorite movies, favorite food- you name it. Make sure that you are having conversations without your future hubby around 24/7- he is not your security blanket.
Understand You Will NEVER Be Her
I hear stories all the time how women try to compete with their future mother-in-law to be the top hen in their man’s life. Whether it’s trying to out cook her, being better at ironing his shirts and all the things your fiancé’s mom would do amazingly, every bride should know… YOU WILL NEVER BE HER. Stop trying. You have an important and special place in your man’s heart, and so does his mom. The bond that your fiancé has with his mother is one that cannot be imitated. Besides, your beau does not want to marry his mom… maybe a woman like her, but he did not marry you to be his mom. He married you to be his WIFE.
Stand Up or Shut Up
If you are in a situation where your future mother-in-law is not the most inviting and makes sideways comments about you, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. I’m not saying to go all Basketball Wives on her (that may be the reaction she wants from you to justify why you are not the one for her son. Don’t fall in the trap.) but respectfully address how her comments impact you and will not be tolerated. People will treat you the way you allow them to. Even though this tip is on the confrontational side, but it shows that you have a back bone and you are comfortable to discuss your feelings, even in an uncomfortable situation.
Be Open and Inclusive
Make sure you take the time to check in and see how your mother-in-law-to-be is doing. Whether it’s a phone call or a catch up brunch session, make sure you treat her like family, because she will be. If you and your mom are planning on catching a movie or going out to dinner, extend the invite so you get to know her more, especially if the only time you are around her is if you are with your fiancé.